Friday, November 18, 2011

I am fed up of fitness advice that people dish out for free

Hmm so I have been deliberating a lot on food and exercise of late. I have come to the conclusion that what was good for us as kids then is good for us as adults now. Waran, Bhat, poli Bhaji, can’t think of anyway that this food is gonna make you go to fat unless of course you eat a mountain full of it a la Bakasura or Chhota Bheem who keeps popping in Laddus like Churan.

If I am eating curds someone who is watching me eat says quickly “try buttermilk, buttermilk is good for health”. If I am eating Phulka then I am told to try whole grain Phulka (I thought what I ate since time immemorial was bloody whole grain aata, except aata didn’t have such a fancy name as whole grain. My mother went to the local kiranaa maal shop, bought about 5 kgs of wheat and then made a trip to the flour mill to grind it. Voila! Whole wheat aata is ready for you) If I am eating a piece of toast, I am told I should eat oats. I am eating ‘whole grain’ (mind you) aata phulka I am told to mix it with one part soya and one part oats to make it more wholesome and more healthy. If I am eating grapes, I am told to eat peaches and strawberries. If I am eating Upama, I am told to eat couscous. If I jog on the treadmill I am told to do pranayama, If I talking, I am told sleeping is better and when I am peeing, I am told shitting is way better. If I am scratching my nose, I am told scratching my bum will burn more calories. I mean this is ridiculous.

Too many people are thinking way too much about way too many things. I have no problem except that these people want to share their new-found knowledge with me and help make the world a better place. Oh I forgot about rice- If I eating my usual type of rice they say I should be eating brown rice.

Ok now that more or less completes the list of things I do and what I should be doing instead. The other day I was peeling a banana and my friend shrieked at me pointing at the banana. What? Banana makes you fat, didn’t you know? To make matters worse, I didn’t seem to appear too perturbed or emotionally shaken at the F word. I relished every bite. She told me that well what was done was done and I could do an hour of extra walking on the treadmill the next day.
Folks, listen to me. Go back to the diet of yore. Ok I don’t want to make you sound that old. Go back to the food that your mother cooked for you and go back to those portions as well. Go back to healthy living and eating, Go back to the times when you washed your hands and feet after you came home, go back to the times when you lit a naranjan (lamp) and said a shlok before you sat down to eat. Go back to the times when you said vadani Kavala before you put that first morsel in your mouth. Go back to the times when you scrounged around for Pohe, gul and milk (rice flakes, jiggery or palm sugar and milk) since there was nothing else to snack on.

Mother promise, you won’t put on a gram of fat. Of course did I mention stop going to the gym as well because you didn’t do that in those days? Liar, I didn’t say that at all. One of the best things of this age is that there is such a variety of fitness regimes to choose from- gym, tennis, yoga, kickboxing, dancing, Tai chi, Pilates, this tes and that tes but to offset the advantage you also have a gamut of food to choose and from at that too at any time of the day. Times were when tea and coffee were meant for morning and evening (or when you came back from work, to drink to perk you up a bit) and there was no such thing as ‘grabbing a bit’. You had a civilised lunch and dinner.
Times are a changing and while we are thinking too much about weight loss we are doing zero about it.

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