Day 1 at 10.30- The corridor outside my flat stank unbearably
at 12.30pm- I noticed that a plastic bag might be the cause of this stench and that it was still not cleared by housekeeping because the stench made it impossible for them to.
5.30pm- the garbage has been cleared from my floor and the stink is now replaced by that of phenyl, disinfectant, room freshners etc
Day 2- My Dhobi tells me that the plastic bag that was the source of stench actually contained a baby
3.30pm- I relayed this news to 3 mothers who come to pick up their children at the school bus-stop
Day3- I am paid a visit by senior citizens of my complex and asked it there was a plastic bag containing a dead body (I am surprised news travelled this slow). If there was indeed a package containg hacked body parts
Day4- I am accosted by concerned looking grannies and asked if there were 4 plastic bags containing chopped parts of a dead body.
Day 5- I am told that this whole episode made it to NDTV news
Day 6- I know know how NEWS is made!
Friday, July 27, 2007
Creams for everything- for fair skin, big boobs, small butts etc
Check this out-
Host- “Before we sign off for today, I have a lovely present for a lovely lady” (the guest on the show).
Guest lady coos and says- “ohhh thank you, I love presents” (as if we throw them out of the window)
Soon after this brain-dead program, I was treated to another thriller and I mean every word. This time it was a promotional advertisement for a bust enhancing cream. The anchor a slim lady with a fair bust line looked into my eyes and shared her deepest, gravest, sad & secret burden.
“Have you ever felt lonely and alone at parties or at college functions”?
“Have you felt ignored by others, especially at work by colleagues (note “especially at work”) where you felt someone else was drawing all the attention”?
“Now sisters suffer no more, we bring you a boob enhancer which when rubbed on the right spot, will win you instant RECOGNITION and ATTENTION”.
With such an eyeball grabbing prelude (she definitely had my attention) she says- “Now with the new me, I know what girls need and what the boys want (this with a sly, all-knowing look)”. Dear god, why did my parents invest so much money and effort in educating me? They should have simply bought 25 years worth of supply of this super sizing lotion!
Then the anchor of the program ends with this winner- “I now no longer feel lonely and alone” (obviously with your new-found twin sets to keep you company). Wait it doesn’t end here.We switch to another maternal looking lady who says- “Before marriage I didn’t pay attention to myself, but after marriage I realized that I have ignored my beauty for long and now my husband who was my boy friend earlier, is actually ignoring me, but I am happy to tell you that this bust enhancing cream has been my best friend, not only have I re-won my old husband, but I now know the importance keeping oneself ship-shape”. Thanks you for spreading the message.
Apologies if I haven't written a word about fairness creams. but between boob enhancers and skin whiteners, the former wins hands down.
I have to end this blog with a dream I had. I the dream I had actually bought that lotion and USED IT and gone to work! But for some reason, something forced my eyes to close!
Host- “Before we sign off for today, I have a lovely present for a lovely lady” (the guest on the show).
Guest lady coos and says- “ohhh thank you, I love presents” (as if we throw them out of the window)
Soon after this brain-dead program, I was treated to another thriller and I mean every word. This time it was a promotional advertisement for a bust enhancing cream. The anchor a slim lady with a fair bust line looked into my eyes and shared her deepest, gravest, sad & secret burden.
“Have you ever felt lonely and alone at parties or at college functions”?
“Have you felt ignored by others, especially at work by colleagues (note “especially at work”) where you felt someone else was drawing all the attention”?
“Now sisters suffer no more, we bring you a boob enhancer which when rubbed on the right spot, will win you instant RECOGNITION and ATTENTION”.
With such an eyeball grabbing prelude (she definitely had my attention) she says- “Now with the new me, I know what girls need and what the boys want (this with a sly, all-knowing look)”. Dear god, why did my parents invest so much money and effort in educating me? They should have simply bought 25 years worth of supply of this super sizing lotion!
Then the anchor of the program ends with this winner- “I now no longer feel lonely and alone” (obviously with your new-found twin sets to keep you company). Wait it doesn’t end here.We switch to another maternal looking lady who says- “Before marriage I didn’t pay attention to myself, but after marriage I realized that I have ignored my beauty for long and now my husband who was my boy friend earlier, is actually ignoring me, but I am happy to tell you that this bust enhancing cream has been my best friend, not only have I re-won my old husband, but I now know the importance keeping oneself ship-shape”. Thanks you for spreading the message.
Apologies if I haven't written a word about fairness creams. but between boob enhancers and skin whiteners, the former wins hands down.
I have to end this blog with a dream I had. I the dream I had actually bought that lotion and USED IT and gone to work! But for some reason, something forced my eyes to close!
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