Untable this please

TV, amplifier, VCD player and tata sky cable, laptop power cord, Lan cable, my MP 3 earphones, the list just goes on and on.
Wires and cables are the bane of my life; it prevents me from looking..how do you say in teenage parlance…. cool!
I have admired the cool quotient of people listening to music over earphones. Actually I admire the cool quotient of people who have this amazing ability to deal with wires, cables, cords, keep them hidden with such nonchalance that it’s as if the content is streaming through thin air.
The MP3 is discreetly tucked away in the pockets and it’s as if the music appears from nowhere. They drive cars, lift weights in the gym, hang out in cafes and malls, use the escalator with such ease, board trains and buses, drive cars, cross roads and eat too. Ditto with the people who speak on cell phones with the hands-free gadget. I have tried this too (I admit my singular failure).
I swore to join the wireless cool legion when I bought a new cell phone. I hunted down the box in which the accessories that came with my phone were packed. I extracted the bluetooth with some reverence imagining all those people who had the thing attached to their ears and spoke without a worry in the world. Well here I come! I managed to fix it to my ear after several attempts as it refused to hang in there and as soon as I would punch in a number it would fall off. After some time came my bg moment. A friend called and I answered, I could move freely without carrying my phone, I walked to the balcony
'Hello XYZ'
'Hey I cant hear you'
'Hello' at this point I pressed the bluetooth device in my ear with my index finger the way I had seen smart secret service men do in movies. To no avail. My friends just hung up.
My husband was the next to call. I excitedly answered finally here was a man who would patiently bear with my efforts.
'Ketaki...'
'Hello'
'I cant hear you, what is it? Are you wearing your bluetooth?
'Yes can you hear me?'
'Please take it off, I can’t hear a word you are saying'
Sigh! Looks like my attempt to be cool was failing fast. Never mind, I still had the MP3 player.
I pulled the earphones, hooked it to my Transcend (don't give me the- "aint you cheap look").
Time to go to the gym. With the player in my hand, I picked up my pair of shoes I had to bend to tie the lace and the MP3 fell from my lap, the head phone wire got entagled around my thigh like it was the sexiest thing on earth! Disaster again. I packed it away.
Now I moved to the laptop at work. I got my machine out of the bag, set it on the table, connected it to the LAN cable. Good! Now for the power cord. As I tried to bring it out, I realized something else came out along with it too- the mouse. The mouse decided that maybe it was time for some fun at my expense. It consorted with my comb and it in turn had hooked up with my set of keys. I just pulled at at all in anger and everything came tumbeling down like it was strung in a giant garland- wallet, keys, mouse, power cord, a sanitary napkin...I am sure I must have looked like a mad woman.
I came back home in the evening to see my husband calmly working on his laptop on the dining table, I stepped around gingerly to avoid tripping on the numerous cables (power, LAN, modem, etc etc…) and he looked at me like I am crazy. Why are you walking on your toes, said the king of cool, for a second I thought I was hallucinating. Was I? Where are the snaking, black cables? Where is that zillion point extension board? Where is it? I asked almost violently. Where is what? Trust him to be calm when I feel like my insides are churning to lava. Aha the cables is it? Well I am using Reliance air card or some such thing…just push it in the USB port and be connected. Lovely, while I was trying to part cables like Moses, my husband had already figured it out.
I have seen living rooms with an impressive flat screen TV…and that’s it. Apparently the TV is connected to Tata Sky, but hey where are the cables that connect the set top box to the TV set? Where is the power cord? Where is the cable that connects the amplifier to the TV (the sound is just delicious). It is somehow hidden somewhere just like the magic in Harry Potter.
But people who come out tops in their ‘fight’ (I am assuming it’s a fight because for me it certainly is) with the numerous cables and wires are those that listen to music with the earphones stylishly tucked in their ears and the MP3 player discreetly in the pockets. That is cool. I have tried to do that and for me the battle started with untangling the earphones. The left head phone is entwined with the right and the right has mysteriously curled itself around itself. I try desperately to unknot but it gets even more entangled. I have untangled it many times and neatly tied it around the phone like a thread. But when the phone rings and I want to talk with the ear phones on, they fail me every time…and I mistakenly press the end button. Even in the gym, when I see 10 other people listening serenely to their players, I wonder how they get it right.
My earphones have a life of their own. They somehow manage to creep around the treadmill handle and still remain entangled. Finally as I am about to start and hit the play button, the right head phone falls out of my ear. In sheer frustration I give it up to listen to the hopeless music playing outside. Just then I get a ‘you are so pathetic’ look from this young ‘dude’ who is as usual ‘headphoned’ . I wonder how they manage to do chin-dips and crunches without breaking sweat over the earphones…..I am alas totally defeated.
Then I tried to connect the earphones to my phone so when it rings while I am driving, I can talk without having to take my eyes off the road and the hands of the steering wheel and gears. Ok, so far so good. I arrived at work, parked, and then I needed to get the ID out from around my neck. But then it somehow got entangled in the earphones. I tried to take the two apart with force, but the two cords appeared like they had joined together for eternity. I got out, and struggled with the ID, somehow got it free but then my shades that I stuck on my head came off along with ID and were hurled on the road. I can only imagine how I looked- the other end of the earphones cord was on my right shoulder, the ID was in my left hand and my precious glasses on the road. This wasn’t working and it hasn’t till now but I haven’t stopped trying.