Camera is a vile word

My sister in law asked me..
“Did you go on this holiday under duress? Were you held for ransom?
“No”
At gun point?
“No”
Was there any pressure?”
“Oh absolutely none. I went willingly.”
“Then why are you looking so grim under this beautiful, blue, azure sky?”
That’s because my husband is holding the camera and he is as competent as a child with a gun who might have the wrong end pointed toward his quarry and he couldn’t care less!!!!
The eternal suffering of a person who is camera-happy is to be surrounded with equally camera-unhappy people, people who don’t care for 20MP happiness in all its digital, vivid colour grandeur.
“Will you take a picture please? Will you? Please take a picture? Picture please? Me and him (here I point frantically at him and me)? This is what I request perfect strangers to make up for my decidedly camera-cold family. My husband actually has the gall to say- well let’s go on a vacation- me, the kids and your camera. I worship my camera, It’s my third baby- youngest, cutest and what’s more it does my bidding and all it asks for is batteries- I am perennially beset by battery anxiety and memory card inadequacy. So when the family is in a 7/11 shop and the kids are going berserk filling up the shopping cart , I am moving along the aisles like a lunatic trying to stock up on Duracell, triple As. Once my better half had to literally wrangle me away from the camera, you see I had tightly wound the camera on my right wrist. He said that he will have to cut my arm loose to get me away from the little rascal with just one eye. I asked him if he will take a picture of my camera lying in my own blood. He just sighed but looked at me like he married a closet camchopath!
Well I am not so bad either. I can go for long periods on our holiday without the click click sound..like when I am in the washroom………..